


In the Still of the Night

by Duck_Life



Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Beer, Friendship, Gen, Madripoor (Marvel), Marijuana, Nightmares, Shadow King - Freeform, Talking, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-13 20:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21003767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: Set during the Muir Island Saga, on another island entirely. Lindsay and Xi'an talk about the Shadow King, fault and nightmares.





	In the Still of the Night

_ Logan stalks through the marshes of Muir Isle, keen on the hunt. “... Can’t fight the urge much longer,” he growls, hands grasping at reeds and roots. “... Shadow King’s vibes are poundin’ in my skull… filling me with a bloodlust— just to smell the sweat of fear on my prey.”  _

_ So focused is he on the prey that may be in front of him, he does not notice the man hiding beneath him. “The hot blood taste of a fresh kill,” Logan tells himself. “Can’t let—” _

_ A hand snatches his ankle, sending him plummeting to the ground. _

_ “You’re nailed, old man!” Forge yells, brandishing a fearsome gun. Logan screams— _

Xi’an Coy Manh startles awake in her Madripoor apartment. The sheets are twisted around her legs. She tenses up, ready to strike out, ready to fight— but she’s alone in her bedroom. Alone, and safe, for now. Just a nightmare. Just a bad dream. Maybe.

Xi’an grabs a cold beer from the fridge and heads to the balcony, only to find that she isn’t the only one up at this late hour. Roommate Lindsay McCabe sits perched in a plastic porch chair, smoking a joint and staring out at the city. 

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Lindsay says, eyeing her. It’s about 3 a.m. Madripoor is, of course, bustling and busy as always. If the crowds are a little rowdier tonight, a little more hateful, a little more violent than usual— well, it’s Madripoor. It’s hard to tell. 

“Hey.” Xi’an sinks into the other chair, hands shaking a little as she pops the tab on her beer can. “Couldn’t sleep?” Lindsay shakes her head. “Where’s Jess?”

Lindsay gestures to the cityscape with the tip of her joint. “Doing what she does best,” she says. “Told me not to come with.” 

“Hmph.” Xi’an sips beer and lets her eyes focus and unfocus on the glittering lights below. “I think Wolverine’s in trouble.”

Lindsay laughs. “When isn’t he?”

“Good point.” Xi’an sighs. “It’s the thing— my mutation is somewhat psychic. And… and I can never tell if I’m just having nightmares or if I’m  _ seeing _ things that are really happening. You know…” She looks down, picks at her nail polish. “I think I saw my friend Doug die. I think I dreamt it. And in the morning, Dani called to tell me… but I was never sure if it was just a coincidence.”

“You dreamt that your friend died on the night he really died?” Lindsay asks. “I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

“Yeah, well,” Xi’an says, “I have nightmares about all my friends dying. This was just the first that turned out to be real.” 

“Jesus.” Lindsay exhales, and a puff of smoke surrounds her like a halo. “I can’t imagine.”

“You don’t dream about losing people you love?” 

“I mean,” Lindsay shrugs. “I guess sometimes I have bad dreams about Jessie getting hurt.” 

Her presence on the balcony in the middle of the night is making more and more sense. “Does Jess have a nemesis?” Xi’an asks, feeling a little silly, like they’re discussing Saturday morning cartoons. 

Lindsay thinks. “I should probably know that, shouldn’t I?” she says. “There was Flying Tiger, and Gypsy Moth. Angar the Screamer. She had quite the rogues gallery back in Cali, as I remember. But nemesis?” She shrugs. “Maybe Morgan la Fay, if she counts.” Lindsay looks at her. “Why, do you have a nemesis?” 

Xi’an sips beer and thinks about bees, and about Cairo. “He’s called the Shadow King,” she says.

Lindsay makes a noise. “The Shadow King? For real? How come Jess fights guys called shit like Flying Tiger and ‘Turner D. Century’ and you fight guys called ‘The Shadow King’?” Xi’an gives her a look. “Sorry, I’ll shut up.”

“He took me over, possessed me,” Xi’an explains. “H-he made me… hurt people, toy with people. Hurt my friends. I couldn’t do  _ anything _ , it’s like… like I was trapped in my own body, watching myself do all these awful things.” 

Lindsay watches her carefully. “It wasn’t your fault, girl,” she says, reaching across the balcony for Xi’an’s hand. Xi’an lets her take it, and they sit there tethered to each other. “It was not your fault.”

“I just keep thinking, maybe if my friends hadn’t been so focused on saving me they could’ve…” Xi’an mumbles. “If they’d just killed me while the Shadow King was using my body as a host… I mean, maybe that would have finished him, for good, you know?” 

“And finished you, too,” Lindsay says. “And you deserve to stick around, Shan.” 

“It’s… it’s… the Shadow King does more bad in the world than I do good,” Xi’an reasons. “I would have died to stop him. And… and maybe I should have, because if he’s really  _ back _ … if my dream wasn’t just a dream, then… then I  _ should have _ died back then.”

“Don’t even say that,” Lindsay says. She stubs out her joint in an ashtray and scoots her chair closer to Xi’an, wincing as the chair legs scrape and screech against the floor. She puts an arm around Xi’an. “For one thing, Jessie and I never even would’ve met you if you’d died then. And for another— honey, you’re a strong, powerful,  _ kind _ person. The world needs more folks like you. Don’t write yourself off.” 

Xi’an blinks back the tears in her eyes and tips her head against Lindsay’s shoulder. “I just can’t help but feel that… if the Shadow King really is back, it’s my fault.” 

She feels Lindsay’s hand smoothing her hair. “I don’t believe it’s your fault,” she says. “But even if— somehow— it were? So what?”

“What?”

“We all have regrets,” Lindsay says. “We all screw up sometimes. When you’re having your bad dreams, Shan, the important thing is that you wake up when they’re done. You wake up and… and you go be a New Mutant or a private eye or a big sister or a friend, or whatever it is you want to be. That’s what matters. Not fault, not blame. You know?”

Drinking her beer, Xi’an thinks about all the corners of the world— of the  _ worlds _ — that her friends have taken off to. Dani is in Asgard. Illyana is in Russia. Rahne is in Genosha. And she’s here in Madripoor, with Lindsay McCabe and Jessica Drew, just trying to find her family and figure out who the hell she is. 

“You’re a good friend, Lin,” Xi’an says.

Lindsay runs another hand through Xi’an’s hair. “I’m trying, girl.”


End file.
